2012 TAKING SHAPE

Here I am on Friday morning 20 July 2012, back in the land of blogging.  To say I have missed blogging would sound silly, especially as I haven't written anything since February, but I have and I hope to do better in the coming days and weeks.  


I am about to embark on an adventure all on my own and I am trying to be terribly brave.  I am returning 'home' to Basel & Schopfheim for 2 months to visit our many beautiful friends.  I leave Perth, Western Australia for Rome flying Singapore Airlines next Thursday afternoon 26 July.  I intend to do a little serious shopping in Rome.  One of my German girlfriends Carla will meet me in Rome and together we are going to have a wonderful time.  Then we will fly up to Basel which is where I will be based for the time I am away.  I have never travelled on my own before.  I've always had my beloved Roger beside me.  I know he will be looking down from heaven watching over me and enjoying with me all the catch up's I will have!


I have had 3 trips to Melbourne this year - March, May and June.  Don't laugh when I say I don't really like plane travel!!  Melbourne is a 3 1/2 hour plane trip from Perth and coming back can be between 4 to 4 1/2 depending on head winds.  There is also a 2 hour time difference between Perth & Melbourne. I have loved time spent with my beloved family in Melbourne and each time I go it becomes harder to leave, especially as my beautiful grandchildren grow and develop their own personalities.  I was blessed to welcome Chloe Grace Ridley on 31 May (daughter for Tim & Amy).  She is now 7 weeks old and growing quickly.  Edward and Nathan turned 1 on 1 July and I was there to join in the celebrations.  It was quite a difficult day for me.  I just felt Roger would have loved to have been there and I particularly missed him.  It didn't help that I was coming down with a cold (wiping little boys noses too much I think!!).


I am becoming stronger in myself and I am most thankful for this.  It has been a very difficult 7 months.  I don't like being on my own (I thought I would actually enjoy it), I don't like the fact that I am now 'single' and not 'married'.  I can't help looking at married couples who seem so happy and comfortable in each others company and wondering why Roger was taken from me so early in life.  It isn't fair, it just isn't.  I also feel I need to find new friends now that I am a 'single' person.  It is the weirdest feeling actually.  Gaynor, the extrovert, not knowing where she really fits in any more.  But this is a process I have to work through on my own and no one can really help me with this.  Going back to Europe to our wonderful friends will be a huge help for me, but also very emotional.  I promise I will blog and let you know what's going on in this mind of mine!!


I received a picture book from my dear friend Sarah.  It is called "Tear Soup" (A recipe for healing after loss) by Pat Schwiebert & Chuck DeKlyen.  Beautifully written and most helpful to explain how I am feeling and why I am feeling like I am.  Also it helps to explain it to my friends and family why I feel the way I do, and sometimes don't understand it myself!!  I have bought 5 copies of the book myself and I am giving them away to people as I feel led.  I will take a copy to Basel with me and pass it around to my friends (our dear friend Kevin recently lost his Mum in New Zealand) then I will leave the copy in the Centrepoint Library.


I will post some family photo's in the coming days.  Stay tuned.  I promise to be on the improve with my blog, my dear and faithful blogging readers.  


Yes, I'm on a whole new journey and one that I don't really want to be on.

Two little brothers just hanging out together !

MY ROGER

Most of you who follow our lives will know that my beloved and most cherished husband Roger died from Motor Neurone Disease (ALS or Lou Gehrig's) on 15 December 2011. This was 2 years and 4 months after he had received the official diagnosis of MND. Roger was 58 years old and we had been married 35 years and 7 months.

As he donated his brain and spinal cord to research there was an unattended cremation and then on 20 December we had a Thanksgiving Service at our Church, St Barnabas Anglican Church in West Leederville. Jocelyn had flown over from Melbourne to help with Roger's care on 7 December. Tim, Amy, Glenda, Tom and babies flew over from Melbourne and we were able to love and support each other through this difficult time. Tim and Amy stayed for 2 weeks. Jocelyn, Glenda, Tom and the twins flew back on 10 January.

Roger had planned his funeral service with the following readings and songs to sing.

Psalm 103

John 9: 1 - 10:10

How deep the Father's love for us

Blessed by your Name

Hope of the Nations

Crown Him with many crowns

Each of our children shared reflections on what their father had meant to them and then Roger's brother David shared "Requiem of a Hero" by Derek Webster (who was instrumental is getting this blog of mine started in April 2006 whilst we were living in Germany), then a friend from Church Saul read "A walk in the clouds with my friend Roger" by our lovely friend Kevin who lives in Basel, Switzerland. (These pieces can be read of our working blog rogngayn@blogspot.com) or click on the link from this blog.

How Roger would have loved his service. Afterwards most of the people who attended the service shared a light lunch supplied by the wonderful people of St Barnabas. German beer was flowing freely - a lovely touch - thank you to whoever supplied I. I must ask!! Then the family went back to my sister Irene's home, just around the corner from the Church to spend time together. All a bit of a blur for me, but good to see all the extended family, especially those who had come from interstate.

So now it is 8 weeks since Roger passed away. It is very hot in Perth with temps hovering between 32C and 40C!! I am taking comfort in my wonderful family who I talk to most days, in the company of my sisters and especially Irene (we escape to the beach and enjoy each others company very much), I had a wonderful 4 nights away down the coast 1 hr from Perth with my friend Mary from Adelaide, truly a special time together. Then there's my lovely garden, that needs watering almost every day with the temps we have been having.

I especially miss my darling Roger in the evenings. We had such lovely companionship together. Mind you, I am now able to watch whatever I like on the TV, which was a bit of a novelty at first, but not being that fond of TV, this is running thin. Last night I listened to the radio, which was planning such beautiful classical music, so it was LOUD. A few tears fell as I thought about Roger and his absolute love for classical music.

I am trying to take each day as it comes, not do too much and just potter around the house and try and sort out some of the mountains of paperwork that needs to be done. I am slowly becoming more socially and ventured out for dinner at friends last Tuesday.

CHILLING ON THE LOUNGE WITH THEIR SOPHIES ! ! !

EDWARD and NATHAN

It's about time I introduced you to my beautiful grandbabies Edward and Nathan. They are twins, but as you can see, not identical. They were born on 1 July 2011 at 36 weeks. So now they are 7 months old and are just an absolute delight. I just love their big blue eyes (Daddy has brown eyes!!), their smiley faces, their giggles and sounds. What a joy it was to spend time with them when they visited Perth with their Daddy Tom and Mummy Glenda. Even though it was sad circumstances because their darling Gramps had died. It won't be long and I will be seeing them again when I visit Melbourne on 25 February for 11 days. Glenda turns 30 on 7 March so I will be there to celebrate with the family. It's going to be lots of fun, and lots of work too I guess.

VISIT TO HYDEN

Here I am with the dirty car and a net over a hat to keep the flies at bay!!
Cherith has since bought me 3 so I am all geared up for
my overseas friends to beat the flies!!

On 2 November Irene drove us to Hyden, approx 370km's east of Perth to spend 5 days with our sister Cherith and her husband Ken. It was also the annual Hymnfest in Hyden. Roger and I attended last year, which is when I formed the idea I would love us 5 girls to get together and have a singing reunion!! Jillian, Cherith, Irene and myself were able to sing at the Hymnfestin Hyden on Friday night. Brenda could not make it up for the weekend as she had been to Kalgoorlie the weekend before.

What fun we had, even though darling Roger wasn't well the whole time we were there. Very weak, continual coughing and just not feeling like partying. But we all took it in turns to look after him, sit with him and keep him company.

Jillian and Jonathan drove from their farm in Badgingarra (about 6 hours). It had been raining quite a bit and they had to come through some parts with water across the road. But they made it safely on the Thursday.

We talked, ate, sang, walked, laughed and basically had a wonderful time together. It was so wonderful to get together and sing. We still haven't lost it and can harmonize well together. Maybe we will make a comeback (ONLY JOKING)!!

Cherith and Irene. Irene being very silly with a net food cover over her head.
No, she didn't wear it on the walk!!

Gaynor and Roger at Gerry's place. She cooked scones for us all on the Saturday morning. What a precious thing to do. Gerry is my nephew Darian's wife.
Their son Jasper is gorgeous.

Cherith, Jillian and Jonathan over morning tea.

Our Front Garden

At last I have taken a couple of photo's of our new garden and fence. No volunteer's to paint the fence yet!! Maybe our son Tim will do it whilst he is here (only joking Tim!!). I am very pleased with the garden and everything in it is growing nicely. The petunia's have started to flower with a flurry, especially after all the rain we have had.






So we have lavender, rosemary and roses and lots of petunia's to add instant colour. Watch this space and I hope I will be able to post photo updates.