Here I am on Friday morning 20 July 2012, back in the land of blogging. To say I have missed blogging would sound silly, especially as I haven't written anything since February, but I have and I hope to do better in the coming days and weeks.
I am about to embark on an adventure all on my own and I am trying to be terribly brave. I am returning 'home' to Basel & Schopfheim for 2 months to visit our many beautiful friends. I leave Perth, Western Australia for Rome flying Singapore Airlines next Thursday afternoon 26 July. I intend to do a little serious shopping in Rome. One of my German girlfriends Carla will meet me in Rome and together we are going to have a wonderful time. Then we will fly up to Basel which is where I will be based for the time I am away. I have never travelled on my own before. I've always had my beloved Roger beside me. I know he will be looking down from heaven watching over me and enjoying with me all the catch up's I will have!
I have had 3 trips to Melbourne this year - March, May and June. Don't laugh when I say I don't really like plane travel!! Melbourne is a 3 1/2 hour plane trip from Perth and coming back can be between 4 to 4 1/2 depending on head winds. There is also a 2 hour time difference between Perth & Melbourne. I have loved time spent with my beloved family in Melbourne and each time I go it becomes harder to leave, especially as my beautiful grandchildren grow and develop their own personalities. I was blessed to welcome Chloe Grace Ridley on 31 May (daughter for Tim & Amy). She is now 7 weeks old and growing quickly. Edward and Nathan turned 1 on 1 July and I was there to join in the celebrations. It was quite a difficult day for me. I just felt Roger would have loved to have been there and I particularly missed him. It didn't help that I was coming down with a cold (wiping little boys noses too much I think!!).
I am becoming stronger in myself and I am most thankful for this. It has been a very difficult 7 months. I don't like being on my own (I thought I would actually enjoy it), I don't like the fact that I am now 'single' and not 'married'. I can't help looking at married couples who seem so happy and comfortable in each others company and wondering why Roger was taken from me so early in life. It isn't fair, it just isn't. I also feel I need to find new friends now that I am a 'single' person. It is the weirdest feeling actually. Gaynor, the extrovert, not knowing where she really fits in any more. But this is a process I have to work through on my own and no one can really help me with this. Going back to Europe to our wonderful friends will be a huge help for me, but also very emotional. I promise I will blog and let you know what's going on in this mind of mine!!
I received a picture book from my dear friend Sarah. It is called "Tear Soup" (A recipe for healing after loss) by Pat Schwiebert & Chuck DeKlyen. Beautifully written and most helpful to explain how I am feeling and why I am feeling like I am. Also it helps to explain it to my friends and family why I feel the way I do, and sometimes don't understand it myself!! I have bought 5 copies of the book myself and I am giving them away to people as I feel led. I will take a copy to Basel with me and pass it around to my friends (our dear friend Kevin recently lost his Mum in New Zealand) then I will leave the copy in the Centrepoint Library.
I will post some family photo's in the coming days. Stay tuned. I promise to be on the improve with my blog, my dear and faithful blogging readers.
Yes, I'm on a whole new journey and one that I don't really want to be on.
1 comment:
Hi Gaynor,
A difficult trip but one perhaps that you need to do in order to move further forward. Your journey is continuing but cannot be compared with those wonderful journeys you made as a couple;the same but very, very different.
You will be taking your memories with you. Enjoy your time with your friends.
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